Who I am
by JustifyingEvil
Summary: Set after Track Record/my fanfic Unstable. Something's troubling Red but he refuses to talk to anyone about it. (Summary may change) T for mentions of depression/self harm.


**Don't know why I'm writing another Saddle Club fanfic but here we are. Takes place some point during Season 1 and after my other fanfic Unstable. Like all my fanfics, rated T for dark themes. I like being mean to my favourite characters, ok. Sorry not sorry. Originally, this wasn't meant to be a multi chapter fanfic but I had written this much so decided to get it out there. Enjoy  
(I don't own the Saddle Club and sorry for any mistakes)**

It had started out as a normal day at the stables. Everyone happy and smiling, excited for the day of riding ahead.

It was mid-day and Max had just finished teaching a jumping lesson. Now the riders were free to do what they wanted for the rest of the day. The Saddle Club were planning on going for a ride. Veronica and Kristy were rushing to get away to the mall. Max, unfortunately had paperwork to do, so he would be stuck in his office for the remainder of the day. Red was busy tending to the horses.

Over the past few days, Max had noticed Red wasn't himself. He seemed down and distracted. Knowing Red suffered from depression, he was tempted to go ask him if everything was alright but Red would probably tell him he was fine. For the time being, he would just keep a close eye on the kid, just in case.

The Saddle Club were heading out for their afternoon ride into the woods. They were excited and eager to go. Getting on their horses, they talked amongst themselves and made their way out of the stables. About 10 minutes into their ride, Lisa spoke up.

"Hey, have you guys noticed that Red's been acting weird lately?"

"Kind of. He's been quiet and not much fun" Stevie replied huffing.

"Maybe there's something wrong. We should ask him when we get back" Carol suggested.

They all agreed and carried on their way, having conversations about horses and Pine Hollow. Time flew by and they started heading back before it got dark. The sun was beginning to set as they dismounted their horses and began to untack them. Red came up to them and offered to help. Stevie saw this was a perfect opportunity to ask him some questions.

"Hey Red. You ok?"

Red was taken back by that question, it was unexpected "Yeah, why you ask?"

"You don't seem yourself, we've all noticed"

Red's heart sped up "Seriously, everything's fine. There's no need for any of you to worry" he tried to make it sound it convincing but the three girls could tell that he wasn't telling the truth.

"Come on Red, we know something's up" Carol said putting her hands on her hips.

"Yeah you can tell us" Stevie pushed.

"I'm fine, just leave it" Red snapped, running his hands through his hair. He quickly walked away, he needed to start doing the night feed.

The three girls exchanged glances and shook their heads.

"Now we know something is definitely wrong and we have to find out!" Stevie was determined.

While the girls chatted away about what to do, Max was watching from his office. He has seen and heard everything. He would have to have a word with Red after everyone left. The Saddle Club eventually left and Red was still doing the night feed. Max was finished for the day so he turned off the lights to the office and locked the door. He glanced around to see if anyone else was around before walking up to Red who was in a stall. Red exited the stall and noticed that Max was approaching. He sighed and turned to face his boss.

"Evening Red, might I have a word?" Max said in a reassuring voice.

Red nodded quickly. The both began walking back to where all the feed was kept. Red had one more stall to do.

"Red, tell me the truth. Are you ok?" Max said straight.

Red picked up his last bag of hay "Not sure, really" was all he could say. He began walking back to the stalls with Max in tow.

"Remember, me and Mrs Reg are here if you do need to talk. Don't bottle things up"

Red nodded and hummed in response as he put the bag of hay up in the stall. He didn't know what to say at that moment. He really didn't know how he felt, it was confusing.

Max sighed, not wanting to push Red into saying anything "Have a good night, Red. See you in the morning" Max walked away, leaving Red alone.

Red leaned against the stall door watching Max walk away. He rubbed his head, he needed sleep. He retired for the night, turning off the stable lights as he left.


End file.
